bombs continued to explode, Dubya and his cabal continued to run our world, the economy got out of bed and all was well in the U.S. of A. Seemed as though my silence was helping. Little did I know that there was trouble brewing right here under my nose in Massachusetts.
Turns out that our Constitution can't prevent pansy-ass fairies like me from getting married. Now, when I do find that suitable boy and finally give my mother what she wants -- to see me married -- I will have the power to destroy the sanctity of each and every one of them breeder marriages. OK, America, it's all my fault but, when I agreed to commit the abomination of homosexuality, I didn't really expect the devil to keep his promise of giving me this awesome power over the God-fearing procreators...who in their right mind would trust the devil? I agreed to it only because being a homosexual was the only way I could justify wanting to sleep with men.
I'm really sorry, though, there ain't much I can do to correct this. I realize that I could divorce my suitable boy a few years after our wedding like so many good breeders do to preserve the sanctity of their marriages but I just couldn't bring myself to let the devil down after all that he has done for me.